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The Steve Martin Album

by The Human Natures

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1.
Shithead 00:38
2.
Hey there darkness can you spare a dime? I’ve really got to make it home on time look spiffy look clean look fine look sharp don't prepare for death don't buy your harp I don’t care if it was on sale I don’t care if you had a coupon I don’t care for your explanation it's something I want to poop on I don’t care if it was on sale I don’t care if you had a coupon I don’t care for your explanation it’s something I want to poop on You cannot make an advance towards me because I'm so far ahead that I'm finished But where's the joke where's the punchline? It feels like I'm just wasting my time
3.
This is the story about the band with two brains who do no thinking and drive themselves insane This is the story about the band with two brains who hangs their head emotionally in the driving rain Silly words, silly phrases ugly grins, and ugly faces Blinding smiles, blinding silence a small mistake, and unchecked violence You messed up and it’s not improving except the sound of a song says that at least things are moving One more song, one more song, one more song to prove that I’m not in the wrong One more song, one more song, one more song to prove that I’m not in the wrong
4.
swallow what is so sugar coated oh my god I couldn’t have more chocolate if I tried and I’ve tried because of what I can’t seem to hide can’t trust a single soul that is on my side melting away such a special day melting away I was never meant to stay it is getting so dark in every direction and I am feeling the abandonment of proper protection
5.
somebody call poison control because I was hugged too hard and now I’m in a tunnel if I could die in your arms and not feel any harm I’d be ringing the alarm so surprised by your charm
6.
I’m shrinking further into my body the walls are getting so much smaller can I retreat further into myself that I could feel so much taller Let’s get ready to stumble grasp at that confidence you’ve already made such a mess grasping at condiments This is getting out of hand you’ve given me too many hands I don’t know what is helping or what is hurting and it’s preventing me from trying to stand Let’s get ready to stumble grasp at that confidence you’ve already made such a mess grasping at condiments
7.
Golden boy wants to be a popper He says let me try out Those with nothing to offer He says he wants a home in the dumpster With the option of returning to a life of comfort Bronze bastard He’s the ally master He knows the proper responses To gain respect even faster He says he’s unaware of his penetrating gaze But he still lets out his fear in frightening ways
8.
This gullibility bubble is so comfortable I exit and I return and I exit and I return until in between two tractor trailers I will burn and the devil will laugh at me for every dumb mistake I’ve made and I’ll renew this string of failures with another soul to trade And when I’m on my last runthrough of a life less lived everyone will gather around my body and shame me for what I did they say “each and every one of us is on your opposition we should go back in time to murder your mother’s obstetrician” Oh lord Jesus Christ, what a shameful position! And those who all reside on the opposing team, will scream: "I want to feed your fingertips to the wolverines”
9.
I know you belong To somebody new But tonight You belong to me Although we're apart You are a part of my heart But tonight You belong to me Wait down by the stream How sweet it will seem Once more just to dream in The moonlight My honey I know With the dawn That you will be gone But tonight You belong to me
10.
I thought that I was funny until I told a joke and you would’ve thought that I taught a baby how to smoke Empty expressions turned up at where I stood and I sweated for another minute for the common good of the room’s discomfort and my own sweaty face I felt as far as I could be from a warm, welcome place And in between the silence and groans I melted into a pool of skin and bones I thought that I was funny until I told a joke and you would’ve thought that I let a poor old woman choke I waited for a stage light to fall onto my head so a superior comedian could take my place instead
11.
There are twenty better jokes than what you just called me and none of them are burning hard enough that they can scald me My mood is iron clad and cannot be corrupted These redundant insults and you think I’ve been disrupted? I don’t even need to activate a shield anymore because its all so weak It’s just an insubstantial fart whenever you decide to speak My mood is iron clad and cannot be corrupted These redundant insults and you think I’ve been disrupted?
12.
Trying to care about the dire situation in front of me but i’m so bored an uninterested I’m cutting up my heart and waiting for it to bleed I don’t want to be void of a moral center Refresh my spirits as I press enter and enter
13.

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written for the second issue of Bad Movies Magazine

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released November 18, 2015

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The Human Natures Pottsville, Pennsylvania

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